Saturday, 15 June 2013

Father's Day Top Ten Countdown

This Father’s Day made me think about the past 3 years. So fast. Too fast. I need my kids to slow down. Before they become teenagers. Ugh. I’m really dreading their teenage years can you tell?

But we’ll worry about the future another day. For now, I want to remember the many unforgettable moments or as I prefer to think of them as - things I can’t unsee.

Good times. Bad times. Wonderful surprises. Life scarring trauma. I made a list.

In no particular order because my memory works only at its own convenience.

1. My child’s first real owie. (with blood) He must have been about 6 months old, still learning to crawl. We were on the bed, he lunged at the laptop. Baby lip meets sharp aluminum edge designed by Apple in California. Crying. Tears. Blood. Wife going berserk. More blood. Child lives. No more laptops on the bed.

2. Cutting the umbilical cord of both my children. I remember thinking god I’m probably in more pain than my child right now. Pro Tip: They don’t feel a thing so stop being a ninny.

3. The boy’s first word. You’d think there’d be a 50% chance of it being mama or papa right? Well, I didn’t get that honor. But then neither did my wife. The honor went to the dog. “Mi-ya-gi”. Mr. Miyagi.

I always refer to him as my first born.

4. Hearing the doctor tell me over the phone that we’re positively 100% pregnant. She was having a check-up, I was at work. It was the one and only time I ever shouted in the office. I think.

5. The day the boy learned how to sip from a straw. I can never forget these small victories. Kill the fatted calf! My son can sip from a straw! Now we take his Philips Avent sippy cup everywhere we go. Abused and battle-tested. It’s how we survive.

6. First 13-hour flight with a 1-year old. Not as bad as I thought. And not as bad as the other passengers beside us thought too. In fact one of them even said, “Hey, that wasn’t as bad as I thought.”


7. The first time my son put his arms around my neck and kissed me. It’s now my new crack. I will weep the day the kids decide that kissing is yucky and gross. This is how nice people turn into crusty and cantankerous old men.

8. Having our second child completely breast-fed. We weren’t as successful with our first child. It was hell. Painful for her. Painful for me to watch. We’re much more determined now and much more informed. Also, we have a Philips Avent Twin Electric Breast Pump from their Natural line. It’s a must-have with deeper and gentler suction. She's very attached to it. 

The Single Pump is battery powered, loves the beach and is a capricorn.

9. After my son turned one, my lifelong dream finally came true. We got to watch Chris Cornell live at TheOrpheum in L.A. I got all misty during the first song and am looking forward to brainwashing my kids with his music for the rest of their natural lives.

10. The time I got really mad at the boy. So much so that later he told my wife he got scared of me. I wanted to crumble into a pile of bones and ash. I need to start teaching myself before I start teaching him. We’re still friends. And he still kisses me.

These things I remember amongst the many because each of them caused me to laugh, cry or scream. I carry them like points on a map as I navigate the uncharted fatherland.

This has been a special Philips Avent Father's Day sponsored post. Thanks guys!