Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Beginners, beginnings and apologies.

Normally I'd just wank off, but what the hell, let's do something different.

Oh sire! You grace us with your presence!
(Your best english accent is required here. Disney english)

You ever been around your kids so much that you forget how to talk to adults? Or how to have an adult conversation? And I already suck at small talk, so my social skills is now at level beginner. I'd have better luck striking up a conversation with your child.

I always thought Peppa Pig was kind of a brat, but she gets away with it cuz she's a bit charming. For a pig. Your thoughts?

How to draw a blank.

It's good to know my batting average, whether young or old, is consistent. Good talk. Look away.

Anyway, I've been taking my son to pre-school and man, the parents here are so involved in their children's lives. The teachers really want the parents to be a part of their school activities. So now there's this "parents night" coming up where the dads and moms get to meet one another and learn about the school, their program and uh, make friends? I guess? God this is so not me.

And somehow, SOMEHOW, I was jedi mind tricked into volunteering to be the class rep. As in representing the class to... I don't know who. The children? My heart is pounding just writing this. WHAT DOES A CLASS REP DO??? I"M FUCKED!!! DO I HAVE TO SPEAK IN FRONT OF THE CLASS??? I"M NOT A CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR PRESIDENT IS! .... Prime Minister? SHIT!!!!!!!

I can't believe I signed my name on the volunteer sheet. Replaying memory, I see my hand reaching for the pen, it still doesn't make sense. Now I know how that sandtrooper feels. Poor bastard.

Clearly, it's stressing me out. Small talk stresses me out. New people stress me out. This whole year man, has just been a humongous leap into the unknown. Unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. And at times, unforgiving.

Nothing happens the way you imagine it will, or wish it will. Everything goes wrong at the worst time. You run out of gas before you get to the finish line. You forget things when you need them the most. You forget people even though they're in the same room.


The hardest part is always in the beginning.

Hi, I'm Marc and I'll be your class rep for 2014. Apologies in advance.


  1. you're attending parents' tea too! baby steps babe. it's just preschool. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  2. I love it! Sorry I don't know why I just saw this now -- why am I not getting Fatherland alerts anymore!!! So glad you're blogging again! (and PS - you can talk to me about parent volunteering if you want Kumars! hahahaha).