Friday, 8 March 2013

You! Me! Impossible shapes!


You know, it took a while. It really did. But I think my wife is starting to get it now. I cannot multi-task. I mean, I can try but usually I cause more damage than accomplishing the actual tasks.

There are times when she forgets. And hilarity ensues. But when she remembers, we return to our presets. Our factory default settings if you will.

I don’t work well with having too many options. I drown under them. I just want to have a few select choices and go from there. Like, if I’m supposed to do something, I just want to do it and not agonize about the bajillion ways on how to do it.

My wife though, is all about the how. GRRRRR!!!!!!!!

And this is the source of a good chunk of our “discussions”. As new parents, all of us, a lot of our anxieties and worries come from not knowing. Because this is our first time. Of course we don’t know. So we research, we read up, we google, we join parenting forums, we read blogs, we WebMD, we post our worries on facebook and hope to god someone, anyone replies with an answer.

And you know what you get? A whole lot of options. There are a millions ways on how to raise your kid and all of them sound valid. Or at least until the 2nd edition comes out. Then all you know is false.

So yeah, as parents, we’ve agreed that she does certain things her way and I do certain things my way. And we’re still being parents. We’re still dad and mom. We’re still a parental unit. And it’s what makes our parenting different from anyone else’s. And isn’t that how it should be anyway?

My worry is, we live in a society where everything is standardized, starting with our education. We’re learning the same things, taught how to think in the same way. So of course we’d think that we should raise all our children in the same way too.

But it just doesn’t feel natural to me, having to force fit myself or my child into doing things a certain way just because someone in a dentists’ jacket tells me to. And don’t you think that living in a society where all the children were all the same colors and shapes is just a little… children of the corn-ish.

You’d miss out on all the unimaginable colors and all the impossible shapes they could be.

Same thing goes for us. You’re not going to find out who you are as a parent in a book. But this is the part that I like the most, you’re gonna give your child something no one else can, you’re gonna give them you.

8 comments:

  1. Coolness.
    I got excited by the title! And I'm waiting for the "Error! Error! Error!" Post. Hahahaha!

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  2. Marc, after having 3 kids, dre and I have realized that you can't have the exact same style of parenting for all 3 kids. As parents, we all have to learn that each child has his or her own personality and sometimes we have to adjust our styles. Sure there's are general rules we need to uphold and implement, there standards and values we need to teach our children but how communicate to them can vary. Parenting 101 is almost non-existent because there's so many versions of it.

    Now school is a whole different thing - we used to live in a world were in traditional schooling is the only way but in this day and age parents have more options. You have to see what is right for your child and of course what also fits the budget.

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    1. Excellent points @janlo so very true! i can't begin to imagine what it's like raising 3 kids.

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  3. Ya know, now's a great time for the kids. A lot more people now understand that everyone learns differently. It's not just "smart" or "dumb" kids. It's "music smart", "word smart", "visual smart", "spatial smart", etc. And parents nowadays, know that raising kids may entail different methods. You have made a great step into realizing and respecting this! Yay for you and your wife! Nice to have met you guys last Saturday!

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    1. @jen indeed! thank you for your kind words :) it was a lot of fun, and yes, it is a great time for the kids. :)

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  4. Hi Marc! It was nice meeting you & Polly at the SoMoms Sessions. Anyway, I like this post! It gives a certain perspective on how men think and react. It's also a great reminder that sometimes we only need a few options in life. That sometimes its better to do and learn things your own way than to put into consideration the bajillion (un)solicited advice from others. After all at the end of the day, we decide for our family, our kids. :D

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    1. @jackie nice meeting you too and thank you for the kind words, see you at the next SoMoms thing. :)

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