How do you raise someone to be themselves? We don’t raise doctors, or businessmen, or actors, or lawyers or cooks. We raise people. Individuals. I don’t believe that you are what you do. It definitely is a part of you, but there is so much more to you than the title under your name.
In getting to know my children, I am slowly learning who they are. My eldest likes surprises. Not gifts but the experience of the unexpected. His laughs are infectious. And once he gets going, it’s hard for him to stop.
|He loves his stickers.|
My youngest, my baby. Well, I’m not sure he likes me. It seems at times that he hates it when I carry him. My wife tries to make me feel better by saying that maybe it’s a woman thing. That he just prefers the physiology of a woman. Believe me, as do I but it is difficult sometimes not being able to comfort him.
At 2 months old, all I can really give him is comfort whether it be with my arms or with my voice. And I can’t do any of those.
But I guess that comes with the territory. I’m realizing it’s not a science. You can read all the literature you can find and it may or may not apply. Because every kid is different. My kids are different from your kids. What works for you may not work for me. Our kids are different.
So we keep trying. My way. Your way. Whatever way. Whatever works. Slowly with their laughing, their crying, their shrieking and without us knowing, our kids are actually teaching us to be the kind of parents they need us to be. Maybe it’s not about what kind of father I want to be, it’s what kind of father my kids need me to be.
And whatever picture of an ideal father I have in my head will have to take a back seat because I have a feeling that the two boys will shape me into someone completely unexpected. I guess that’s my son’s way of teaching me to embrace the surprise.
Our kids are growing and changing every day and you know what? We are too.
Here’s to you 2013, and all that you may bring.